The Storyworth adventure that has produced the book “A Trove of Stories, Volume I” was a tremendous experience for me, and I was sad to see it coming to an end. In retrospect, I might have structured the questions more to my own liking, and I added this last one as part of a reorganization and expansion of what I did write down throughout the past year (2023). Treat it as a prelude for a second volume, if you will.
Much of the stories in this first volume are about my childhood memories, often based on questions that I would never have thought of. What’s missing are shared memories of more recent years, especially those involving my wonderful family. True, there are stories in this volume about things that we experienced together – our travels together, our extended family relationships, even a bit about our daily family life.
As I am about to turn 80, I am thinking about the need to keep looking ahead. That doesn’t fit with dwelling on the past, of course, but I do see my family as something that is important to me for my own future, just as much as it has obvious importance for them.
I was lucky to meet my life partner well after I had passed the age of 40. (So it still has been less than half of my life.) We had a typically whirlwind courtship – that is to say, a courtship that didn’t require a long gestation. Ralph aka Peppy showed up at the perfect time to become “the boy next door”, as I have previously written. He clearly gave me a feeling of comfort, with whom communication was natural and familiar (as was, of course, the lovemaking). I spontaneously announced to him that I wanted to have his children, and he spontaneously asked me to marry him. And off we went. Through plenty of ups and downs, to be sure, but with a lasting bond of warmth and love for each other.
Our two children together were born when I was 44 (Kristina Doggett Hagen on 25 February 1988) and when I was 47 (Ralph McShane Doggett, Jr on 25 September 1991). They became the center of my life, along with Peppy, even with a career that took me away from them a lot of the time. They may remember those absences with a certain amount of disgruntlement, but I hope they will also remember our times together and the love that was always there – and still is, of course!
The home life as a family was magical – all of it – the daily routines, the reading of children’s books and the watching of video entertainment together, the shared meals, the going to and from school, the birthday parties, the trips back and forth between Geneva and Grasse, the extended family gatherings, the travels here and there, the swimming and tennis and skiing and baseball games, the graduation ceremonies, the cats, Romeo, the music and guitar playing.
The joys of Kristina and PJ becoming the distinctively unique individuals who continue to “become” who they are – they are the memories and also the anticipation of more to come.
Today, life at home with Peppy has its own comfort level. We both went through separation stress after each of them left the nest – whether for university or in search of their own careers and partners. Now we enjoy weekly Skype chats with them – and with Becky, whose presence in our Doggett/Hagen family life was only through her high school and college years.
Becky’s time in the daily family routines in those years were certainly important for all of us – not only as she blossomed in her own right (the acting, the love for David Bowie, the literary interests) but also as a great older sister. We have savored our family time with all three of them, even if they are no longer a constant presence in our lives. Here we are as a family in Sardinia, when Becky’s partner Scott had already joined us:
A few years later, we welcomed Kristina’s partner Julian at a wedding that started in Geneva and was followed by celebratory receptions in Grasse, Bristol and Richmond:
And later we welcomed PJ’s partner Sarah to the family. Then there are those fabulous grandchildren, Remy and Kaia. What wonderful futures for all of them. Here we all are, including Remy and Kaia, celebrating the marriage of PJ and Sarah:
We continue to have strong family connections with brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews – and even “grand-nieces and grand-nephews”. And the joy these days of reunions with old friends and friendship networks can be bittersweet with the memories of those who are no longer with us.
We pursue other activities and new friends on our own – Peppy through his photography (mostly but not exclusively of butterflies these days) but also his guitars and olive oil processing and renovation work and lawn-mowing and pool maintenance; and I through my commentaries, my teaching of “American” English, my studying of Spanish, my gardening (mostly weeding), my daily walking, my book clubs and other forays into the local lifestyle here. Ready for Volume II?
